Falling leaves hide the path so quietly ~ John Bailey, "Autumn,"

Of all the seasons, I find the autumn the hardest.

It seems to come all of a sudden. It lurks around the corner while I am still enjoying the September sunshine. True, there are some chilly days mixed in September but I always forget them as soon as the sun warms my face again. Then October brings the realization that the dark days will soon be here and the dread starts inside. I don’t really know why.

That’s to say, I can see why I don’t like autumn. I feel a bit sorry for it as a season, following as it does the riotous, bright, loud, colorful summer. It reminds me of a parent arriving at a party to bring a boisterous teenager home; its arrival having the similar effect of breaking up the fun, saying “did you have a good time?” whilst dragging us away from the bright lights, the music and the fun.

And here I am at the end of October; like a sulky child, mooching around the house, pining for the gaiety of warm days and suppers in the garden. Where did the time go? And why does it go so slowly in the winter? Maybe it really is true that time goes quickly when you are enjoying yourself.

Which I think is the crux of the problem. Autumn reminds me that I have spent the summer like a small child in an amusement arcade; I have used up all of my summer pocket money and not kept any for a rainy day. Or several rainy days, come to that! Now the autumn is here and I will have to put my sensible head on and budget for the days to come. My energy is spent and my batteries are run down.

Of course, I am not alone. Seasonally Affected Disorder (or SAD for short) is now a recognized condition that affects many people as the days shorten and the natural daylight dwindles. Pick up any magazine at this time of the year and there will be any number of articles telling us how to deal with the condition, suggesting everything from the use of light boxes to taking a brisk walk in the fresh air.

Coaching myself out of negativity

I am sure that these remedies can help but I firmly believe that we can change the way that we feel by changing the way that we think. So I decided that this year I would “be my own life coach” and coach myself out of this negative frame of mind. I would flip the situation and look at it from another angle.

To put it simply, “flipping” the situation enables client and coach to look at things from another angle and find the good points in a current situation. These points can then be used as markers for determining a different attitude and outlook, and motivates the client to achieve their goals.

So, what are my goals? Well, two goals spring to mind immediately. Firstly, I want to be re-energised by autumn; to feel that the change in the season is a chance to recharge my batteries rather than deplete them. Secondly, I want to enjoy the new season and not dread it.

List the positives

Good. That’s my goals sorted. Now I need a plan. As always, the best plans are the simplest so I have made a list of all the things that I love about autumn.

Yes! I love the changing colours of the leaves on the trees, the freshness of the air and the sudden deluges of rain

Yes! I love soup and homemade bread, especially parsnip soup made from the the parsnips that I have grown in my garden for the first time ever.

Yes! I love fluffy slippers and warm pyjamas

Yes! I love tea and toast with strawberry jam and wet weekends with my cat curled up on my lap and a good book to read

Yes! I love a long soak in a warm bath and not having to shave my legs so much!

Yes! I love hot chocolate and marshmallows

Yes! I love the fact that the football season is in its infancy and everything is still to play for

Yes! I love saying that I’m not doing Christmas this year when I know that I will be the biggest kid on the block by December

Yes! I love making apple pie from the windfalls

Yes! I love not being too hot to sleep

Yes! I love collecting chestnuts and roasting them in the oven

Yes! I love going to London for the day with my mum – our annual treat where we giggle like fourteen year olds and walk the streets till we drop.

Accentuate the positive!

Now I guess you may have been expecting a very short list and yes, it is true that there seems to be a lot of food related items on my list! And I would have agreed with you when I started it because the first few seemed to take a long time to get down on paper. So I cheated and asked a few friends! I didn’t always agree with what that they had to say (Halloween – yuck, bare trees – no way! Bonfires – are they mad??!!) but these things may make it onto your list and if they do, that’s fine.

Because what I have found out is that making a list of all of the good things in a situation really works. So why not try it?

Nature gets it right every time

For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together. For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad.
- Edwin Way Teale

One last thought. Today is the last day of October and it is bright and sunny. I have got over the trauma of the clocks going back and I have been outside, tiding the garden. I love working in the garden as it never ceases to raise my spirits. As I was cutting back the shrubs, I saw the new buds on the plants and as I cleared up the seed heads, showers of seeds fell on the earth. Far from the year drawing to a close in the garden, Mother Nature was already sowing new life in the soil ready for the return of the sun in the spring. All around, the garden was working on preparing for the next year. I stood and considered this for a while. Maybe I should take a leaf out of the same book and see Autumn not as a time of endings but as a time to plan new beginnings.

Next time we talk, it will be December. We will have moved from the season of mist and mellow fruitfulness into the razzle dazzle of Christmas. I will be taking time to talk about how to preserve your sanity, how to make time for yourself and how to nourish your soul during the crazy season.

Till then, be gentle with yourself.

Believing in you

Teresa xx

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